Dreams and aspirations of a 15-year-old follower of Christ
January 13, 2012
Below is a letter that was simply handed to me late at night on the 3rd of January, 2009 by my daughter Hannah. Nothing in the way she presented it could have ever prepared me for what was written inside.
Modern day slavery of Christians in Pakistan
I have since read her note to me over a dozen times and I choke up with tears every time I see the pages. As a father, I have always purposed to be a witness for my children — a witness in the way I live out what I believe. I have tried to never be a legalist but rather a lover.
I have spent a lot of time traveling away from my family and I know my children have paid a price that they could not even agree to. In the back of my mind, I always have a distant fear about how we have lived and if it will help or hinder my children as they gain their own faith and live what they believe.
How many of us have served the Lord and seen our children run the other way? I point no fingers here as I have seen good parents with terrible kids and terrible parents with great kids. I have no stones to throw. I was rocked to my core as I read Hannah’s note to me and after struggling through some really tough stuff from the past year, the Lord used it to so powerfully minister to my heart. Feeling like a failure due to my own weaknesses, I was able to see the Lord use my daughter to shine hope into my soul and have the burden lift.
I share this letter with you with my daughter’s permission and if you feel so inclined after reading it, I ask you to respond and encourage Hannah and the notes will be sent along to her.
=============================================================================
Hannah pursuring her passion
January 3rd, 2009
Hannah Turner
My dreams and aspirations are to serve the Lord in every way I can. My parents taught me this from the first days I can remember. They taught me to love the Lord with all my heart and to love others.
As I look back over my life, the most influential person in it has been my dad. He has gone through so much in his short forty years of life. He has seen so many deaths and traumatic events in his 18 years of service to the Lord in ministry and I have watched and seen the toll it has taken on his life. Last year my dad was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. After coming back from a trip to Africa, I could see along with the rest of my family that my dad was no longer the same.
Initially, I was angry with my father due to the fact that he would simply sit at home in his room, not leave the house, and would barely engage us in a conversation. I was angry and wondered how my father could be so selfish. After some time, I realized that it was I who was being selfish and self consumed.
This event has really impacted my life. I have a much different outlook on life and at times I am not sure if it is good or bad. Even after eighteen months, my father still has struggles at times and I secretly fear that he will go back to the person who could not talk with us once again. In my mind I think, people die every day, bad things happen all the time, why does it affect my father so much?
I am learning from him that life is precious and casts a long shadow of memories, some good, and some bad. In my father’s case, much of what he has seen ministering in war zones and disaster areas has been bad.
Every single person can have an impact on someone and their memory remains forever in the hearts of others. People come and go but what matters most and last the longest are the things we do to touch peoples lives and seeing this carried out in my fathers life has compelled me to dedicate my life to making a lasting impact, not just any memory but a memory of Jesus Christ. I desperately want people to see a small glimpse of Jesus when they look at me and possibly by seeing Jesus with skin on that they would also turn their lives over to Him. I am a fifteen-year-old girl but the God I serve is big and able and can use my life as I follow after His plan for me. My dad has shown to me the other side of following Christ, the side that allows suffering rather than simple blessings. My job now is to follow the Lord.
A Virtuous woman who can find, she is worth far more than rubies.
Consumed by the call,
Hannah Turner
==========================================================================
Kevin Turner, proud father of Hannah who has recently returned from another mission trip to Pakistan.
Posted in Disaster Assistance Response Training, family, Pondering, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Suffering
content rss
February 2nd, 2009 at 9:52 am
Kevin,
I will share this link with my friends. Fifteen………….Wow! AMAZING!!!
February 2nd, 2009 at 6:07 pm
Dear Hannah,
What a gift. You bring wisdom beyond your years and eloquence to words that only God can give.
You have shown your father on earth and father in heaven that you know how to truly love… to be so for someone that it isn’t about you… that is a hard place to be, but a good one, because it’s a free place, where you can decide to engage the potential of Christ in you and be the person you want to be even when it hurts.
You’re having some of the best and hardest lessons up front, but I know you have the best of teachers in your Mom and Dad. And I know as hard as it’s been for you and for your Dad and for your whole family, the opportunity God has given you to let Christ be your strength when your Dad could not help, will give you endurance for the long haul, and the lessons for you both will serve you longer and better than whatever could have been otherwise…
I know and trust the truth of that because I believe, like your Dad says, that God is not ever taken by surprise, He doesn’t waste anything, and He really does work all things together for the good of those who love Him… and I know you know that scripture as anything but trite, as everything that matters…
So be strong in the Lord, run ahead of me, since you’ve got such an excellent start, and I’ll catch up to you in the end…;O)
Blessings and more blessings, all the days of your life,
cari
February 2nd, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Dear Hannah,
You are amazing! The Lord has given you understanding! God bless you for recognizing what PTSD is and why your father was/is having such a hard time. You and your family are incredible people. My heart is so challenged by your life! I have PTSD and know the blackness of it. It is a beast but one the Lord can defeat. I know this because I have seen much healing in my own life, though I have a long way to go. Every day is an effort to get through. I still limp. Hannah, I’m so impressed with you. I want you to know I pray for your Dad and all of your family. I really care. God bless your dear heart.
Love In Jesus,
Bonnie Fiddes
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:27 am
Hannah – You’ve given your dad a great gift – that of love and compassion. For those of us healing from PTSD it makes such a difference to know that our loved ones remain by our side even on the darkest days. My own PTSD healing journey was long and dark – and yet, my family stood beside me all the way. Now, I’m healed and our relationships are wonderful and I’m so grateful they didn’t abandon me. Even on days that your dad doesn’t seem communicative, or days that he’s angry, or moody or distant, know that he loves you, and that his struggling inside never changes how he feels about you. You’re maturity and ability to appreciate your dad’s healing path are an inspiration. Michele
February 4th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Thanks so much for you kind note to my daughter. She is amazing and has indeed blessed my life. I have two more children just like her.
February 4th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
Thank Keith, run to the battle!
March 12th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Hannah,
You are very blessed to have had parents that have shown you how to affect the hurting world around you. I pray God will bless you and keep you safe as you follow your Dad’s example to, “Run to the Battle”. Your Dad has done great things for the Kingdom of God, but the greatesst thing a parent can do is teach and lead their children to know and love God with all their heart, mind and soul and to love their neighbor as themselves. That is your parents greatest accomplishment. They have led you and your siblings to know and to trust our loving Savior. As you grow older and do many exploits for the Lord, remember that you to will soneday perform that great act to lead your children to know “Him” as well. All we can do to touch the world would be for naught if we don’t lead our own children to know God.
God Bless You as you continue to follow Christ,
Rocky Spaulding
March 17th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Hannah, Altho it has been a few weeks since your dad put this up on his blog, today was the first time that I read your letter to him….and I cried. How hard and how beautiful it has been for you. And my heart rejoices to hear that you have chosen the One Thing that is best: Jesus, Himself. My twin sister recently had a prophetic dream (several, in fact) that revolved around the Suffering Bride…that in the next few years, (and now) we will begin to share in His suffering so we can share in His glory. This has been hard for me to process internally (and I’m 35!) but I see it in your family as forerunners in Love and suffering. My own heart longs for the beautiful Bride of Christ to become Who She is to be–so much so that sometimes I weep for hours. It is my joy to see you stand up as His Bride, Hannah. We are to be co-heirs with Jesus when we stand with Him. To me, that means that we must suffer as He did…AND see the amazing things/miracles that He does thru us. I am simply thrilled that we are sisters in Him. You are precious in every way. In Love, Karen
March 4th, 2012 at 6:14 pm
Hey Hannah, you would now be 17 since the letter is two years old. You Dad shared the letter with me this last week here in Canada, so who ever said you can’t make an impact in someone’s live at 15! Sometimes the toughest people to minister effectively to are the ones closest to us, but you did, and the impact continues. So, hang in there and keep it up with both Mom and Dad, sister and brother. They will never forget! And, you chose a super medium–a letter. Never underestimate the influence God has placed in your hands for affirmation!
May God clearly direct your steps,
Craig Bundy
April 12th, 2012 at 2:01 pm
I am facing the same challenges and wonder often about my children and the sacrifices they are giving for me to walk this road that God has placed my feet upon. Thank you, dear sister in Christ, for your affirmation of your father and the work he has been called to do….and how that has placed that firm desire in your heart as well.
It has given heart to more than just your family…….it has given joy to mine as well. Thanks.